Ride This Good Will, for Your Honey Moon is Over

Richard Huloet’s Abecedarium Anglico Latinum, in 1552 first made reference to the term honey moon. Huloet writes’

“Hony mone, a term proverbially applied to such as be newly married, which will not fall out at the first, but th’one loveth the other at the beginning exceedingly, the likelihood of their exceadinge love appearing to aswage, ye which time the vulgar people call the hony mone.”
—Abcedarium Anglico-Latinum pro Tyrunculis, 1552

The period of honey moon in marriage is so blissful, that the partners see no wrong, hear no wrong, make no demands on their partners and generally enjoy that which being married allows them legally under both moral laws and manmade laws to possess and enjoy.

Very recently, the former Governor of Lagos State paid a visit to President Buhari and when he came out told journalists, who pestered him for information that the President is on a honey moon. The famed Jagaban unwittingly told Nigerians, that the President just got married to them and that after a marriage there should be a period of bliss.

This period should be enjoyed without any demands by either partner. Tinubu’s logic is that Nigerian’s should allow their partner the President, a period of marriage bliss. This request is on the backdrop of demands of immediate performance and consummation of the marriage by partner Nigeria.

What the Jagaban forgot is that Nigeria is an old bride who has been married several times. In her past marriages she has been abused physically and emotionally. Her children were taken from her by her previous husbands. Some of them are in detention. Some were forced to leave their fathers house and are presently slaving in other people’s houses, yet some of her children who dared to remain room the streets and because of idleness engage in hunger crimes to survive to the next day.

In her previous marriages this old bride also had children some who were favorites of her previous husbands. Nigeria sees these children every day living flamboyantly. Rather than look after their mother they travel to far lands to waste her money on women of easy virtue.

They buy big houses with her money that they barely stay in, for no sooner than they buy the houses, than they return again to plunder their mother. This bride is a hurt bride. She has carried her wounded soul with dignity. She could have been prepared to be left alone. Yes, she would not have minded, after all, a woman who has been married with several children can no longer be called barren.

It was in this state that this bride was, when a tall lanky and very amiable man knocked on her father’s door to ask for her hand in marriage. This lanky man has come before. In fact he has come to marry her three previous times before and Nigeria refused. So when he came this time for the fourth time Nigeria was very reluctant. However Mr. amiable was very persistent. He began to flash a very toothy smile which was hidden before. He made so many promises to the bride.

“I will bring back your children from captivity. I will discipline those children who neglected you. I will bring back everything that they have stolen from you. Look at me, look at me” he begged the bride.

He bought new clothes and changed his swag. He cultivated new friendships among them the famed Jagaban. He hired men who sang his praises. They inundated the bride with his praise. She was confused, her then husband was also amiable though he wasn’t much of a husband but at least he wasn’t abusive. He just couldn’t bring himself to say no to their thieving children.

Left with no choice, Nigeria agreed to marry the tall lanky amiable gentleman, who has asked for her hand in marriage a record four times. She was all smiles at the wedding.

Everyone was there even her jealous sisters, brothers, previous husbands, even husbands of other women from far land who have laughed her to scorn were there too. Nigeria danced to the wee hours of the morning. May 29, 2015 was the wedding day. It was a very memorable day, for the first time in a very long time this abused bride was the cynosure of all eyes. She basked in this euphoria. She was ecstatic. Here was a hundred year old woman, getting married to a younger man. Her expectations were really high and for good reason.

In this excitement she rode off with her new groom to embark on a honeymoon. Unfortunately no sooner have they settled down for consummation, than her husband started complaining.
“You are rushing me, he told her. I need time to study you. Please be patient with me”.

Nigeria was livid with anger. She placed a call to her father’s house. Her brothers and sisters were divided. While some supported her demands for immediate consummation of marriage, others asked her to give her new husband the benefit of the doubt. Jagaban one of her husband’s close friends insisted to her that her husband is still observing the honey moon.

For the full story, check the full story in the This Day newspaper.